Haunted House

A little while back, I started hearing strange noises in the house. At first it was rather infrequent; Just the occasional thud from the other end of the house. I really didn't think much of it. Steadily, the noises occurred more often & were louder. Mostly the noises seemed to come from the roof, but sometimes there would be strange noises from inside the walls and under the floorboards. I was a little freaked out at this point, maybe I'm living in a haunted house?

Still unsure what it all was, I was trying to ignore it my turning the TV up: If I cannot hear it, it is no longer there, right? I think these roof-demons can read minds, because everytime I turn the TV up, the screams begin. These high pitched screams sounded like they come straight out of hell; Think fingernails on a blackboard, and amplified by 100.

At this point, I don't know what to do. Do I say to my friends and family that my house is possessed? They'll think that I'm crazy!

I needed some divine intervention. I looked upto the sky and screamed SAVE ME, CHUCK NORRIS! I honestly didn't think that would have worked, but the next night the mysterious noises and screams were gone. Chuck Norris had triumphed over evil. I think he roundhouse kicked those demons straight back to hell!

Two nights later, while feeling great about my demon-free house, the evil one had one ace left up his sleeve. Unleashed from the bowels of hell were unimaginable smells! These smells engulfed the whole house. There was no escape, and this November heatwave only made things worse.

It turns out my house is in fact NOT haunted. A family of possums were living in my roof. The sounds coming from the walls and floorboards were electrical wires being moved around from inside the roof. The horrible smell did happen though. I think one of the possums couldn't handle the high temperatures (has been mid-30's since last week), and died. One night, the smell was so bad that I even contemplated sleeping outside.

The next morning, the smells were gone... Thank you, Chuck Norris.